Aussie Men Make Shitty Husbands, says study.

Jump under the cut! The Aussie men I know are pretty awesome husbands, but I mix with progressive nerds.

A study found that Australian Men were less likely to help with domestic chores. Another study also confirmed that bears shit in woods.

You might think I’m being tough on Australian men, but I have to ask those that aren’t Australian - have you met the average Aussie “bloke”? Well-meaning, sure, but a more chauvinistic, socially-rigid bunch of bastards you will not meet.

It’s to the point that I do not go to straight bars because I do not want to be hit on by the average man living in my city. I’m sure it’s not so bad in Melbourne and Sydney, but where I live (Perth), fuckwittedness seems to be epidemic.

I live in a place where being shouted at from a car window is considered a great way to meet women. I shit you not. Dickheads actually expected me and my friend walking home from the gay bar to get INTO their car. We laughed. I didn’t laugh too hard – my sister was raped by a stranger who had gotten tanked and gone to a titty bar.

Now, I know not all Australian men are like this. I really, really do. I defend the good Aussie man. They exist, I know many of them. But what I’m trying to tackle here (rather hamfistedly I will admit) is a certain mindset that is pervasive in this culture.

A certain expectation on the part of men to fulfill a role that is blasted at them through media and through their mates. It’s a role that’s even more pervasive than what American men suffer, because it’s not mocked roundly here. It’s accepted as the mainstream, and if you don’t fit it, you’re a pussy, a big girl’s blouse, a panty-waisted limp-wristed Mummy’s boy. Here’s what is expected:

– You get yourself a woman, she does the housework.

– You own a dog.

– You violently loathe cats.

– You like killing animals.

– You laugh about violence and watch shit TV and movies.

– You never, ever change nappies or cook your own meals.

– You’re lazy, and it’s cool to be lazy.

– All you want to do is hang out with your mates and get pissed on your time off. Your wife is for schtupping and taking care of your sprogs.

Now, I am not suggesting that all men are like this. This is an image that is pushed onto the male populace and hence, some men act in this manner. Women have their roles too. The heteronormative bullshit here in Australia is thick and choking, and I really fucking hate it. Can you tell?

WAR ON EVONY!

Jump under the cut! Hello my fellow internet citizens.


I can see that got your attention.

I'm increasingly angry at the barrage of ads I've been getting through blogs and websites adsense adverts for Evony. I could go into why they're sexist, but I think other people have already gone over this and if you don't get it at this point, I'm not going to even try to teach you. What I will do? I intend to share with you some wonderful alternative advertisements that Evony can use.

My point in these alternatives isn't just for laughs. I want you all to post them on your blogs and journals. I want you to save these pictures onto your hard-drive. I want you to make your own. Then I want you to send them to every email address the Evony website has listed on their page. Support, advertising, staff, you name it. I think we should bombard these fuckers just like they bombard us.

And just because you're a guy, don't think that these ads don't affect you. I think it's a great disservice to men, thinking they can lure them in with the promise of breasts and subservient women. It's insulting to men, it's insulting to women. It's the lowest common denominator and I don't think people want that shit on their mainstream, non-porny websites. Usually if you want to see that sort of thing on the net, you have to go looking for it.

It is now popping up in LOLCATS, and on blogs. People are having a HELL of a time trying to get rid of these ads from their adsense accounts. Evony is aggressively finding ways to slip their ads into these accounts anyway.

Coding Horror: How Not To Advertise

BlogLESS: Evony

NFOpocalypse: Civony: Gold-farmers go first party.

BruceOnGames: Don't Play Evony <--- This guy has gone to a LOT of trouble to gather resources and posts about why Evony bites. Give his site a look!


It started like this. This is good. This is descriptive of the game. Strategy, war, knights.


Wait... what? There are no tits in this game!!


This ad I call "TITTY-FUCK ME, MY LORD!"


...Wait. She's - she's not even in costume! WHAT?!


...

...

OH COME ON!!!

(I swear upon my mother's crucifix, that is a real, honest-to-God Evony ad. I did not make it up.) Either way, a fuckneck's not even trying anymore.

Something occurred to me, however. They're missing out on half the market. Isn't it time they start urging the wimminz to join their awesome-sauce browser game?! Where's our princes? Here's where, bitchez:



We'll start real subtle, see...


Aw yeah, ladies, you love that shit. Then the'll move it on up..


Oh no! Guyvony is in trouble!!


But if you save Guyvony, he'll love you forEVAR.

But this isn't enough. It's vaguely fantasy themed. We want to really shove some man-meat in people's faces! YEAH!


Ooh yeah, some muscular Guyvony! Not enough. Needs more V.


Hmmm... still too classy...


We're slowly getting there...


Still not feeling it. We need to CLOSE IN. DISTILL THE ESSENCE OF EVONY.


Wait... NEARLY.


THAT'S IT! PERFECT!

And if any butt-stain of a dude comes in here and bitches and moans that I'm just as bad as the ads and that I'm objectifying you - WAY TO MISS THE POINT. YES, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU. WE ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU.

The last word goes to Xena.

Amazing pictures in Tehran.

Jump under the cut! Some amazing and heart-rending photos from Tehran yesterday.






This was the aftermath for poor Mr. Calvin-Klein-pants. Fucking jerks.



This woman has ovaries of steel. The women of Iran have been invested and active in this election. And they're not lying down in the aftermath. I just have *so* much admiration and awe for them. I couldn't do this, I know I couldn't. I would hide and be afraid. I'd want to run away to somewhere safe. This woman - she is defiant. I hope she's safe.

Bravery in Tehran

Jump under the cut! These people are more than risking their lives by marching like this. There is certain death ahead for many who protest.



They are shouting: "Death to the Dictator" and "I will fight! I will fight! I will take back my vote!" I'm certainly behind the latter cry. And while I don't condone any sort of killing, I know that for these people, it's a very dark situation. It is probably their only way to freedom.

I keep posting about this because I know that the coup is trying to surpress this sort of information. They don't want the world to know what's going on. People are dying for their freedom as we speak. Police are charging universities and dorm rooms, capturing students, shooting them or taking them away and making them "disappear". Men, women and children are being beaten to death in the street. It's for them I keep talking about this and it's for them I do my bit to carry on the information.

For more information as things are happening, go to Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish. I applaud his efforts.

In Australia, No Free Pass for Gordon "Buttstain" Ramsay

Jump under the cut!

I barely need to tell you who Gordon Ramsay is. If I do, I consider you a blessed individual. In this day and age of arrogant asshole TV personalities, this man is something of an extreme.

Generally I ignore this fuckneck’s rabid behaviour, but he brought his crap onto my soil and attacked one of my own.

Now, I have had some choice epithets for Tracy Grimshaw at times. I have a loathing of most current affairs programmes aired after the news as they rarely cover anything of real importance. It’s a waste of airtime and generally a thinly veiled advertisement for whoever the network wants to schill that particular week.

A Current Affair, I will admit, is less on the nose than Today Tonight. And Tracy Grimshaw has actually covered some good things in the past. I remember that Channel Nine covered Anonymous’ activities with little paranoia, and put an unforgiving light on some of Scientology’s bullshit. So I have a soft spot for her from that time.

But even if it were the blonde woman on Today Tonight getting the heat, I would stand up for her. Gordon Ramsay’s candor is just too fucking reprehensible. Most people would say “Hah, he’s just being playful! A naughty guy!”

No, no he’s not. He’s seeking to further his fame and fortune, and when Tracie Grimshaw did not play his bullshit game, he attacked her on air. It was childish, manipulative and cruel.

You can see some of what happened here.

For the link-phobic I can sum up what happened thusly:

– Tracy Grimshaw interviews Ramsay on ACA. In the middle of the interview, he asks her what turns her on. She laughs, she blushes, and tries to get the interview back on track. Ramsay is not used to this sort of behaviour, or maybe he is but he doesn’t deal with it very well. To him, she’s clearly rebuffed his attentions on television and he’s embarrassed. So he attacks her by making fun of a little mole on her top lip. On. AIR. She laughs it off but she’s very embarrassed and he’s made a fool of her on air.

– At a book signing in Melbourne after the event, he badmouths Tracy Grimshaw in front of the audience there. He calls her various horrible things. Apparently he even showed a picture of a naked woman on all fours, with multiple breasts (more than one pair) and a pig mask on. He pointed to it and said it was Tracy Grimshaw.

– Tracy Grimshaw calls him on his bullshit on air. She says, “I’m not taking this shot. O yeah, U ugly, natch!”

– Ramsay does the equivalent of call her a humourless feminist. He’s clearly embarrassed by his behaviour, but being the arrogant prick he is, would never bring himself to actually apologise for his horrible behaviour.

– Wassat? Is that a smackdown from the PRIME MINISTOR?! (typo, but it’s funny so it stays). OOH BURN, SCROTE-FACE! I THINK IT IS!

I applaud for Tracy Grimshaw seeing his crap for what it was and NOT taking it. I applaud her for not letting it slide. I applaud her for calling the fucker out on national television and defending herself. I’m pretty sure Gordon Ramsay can get away with that shit elsewhere, but I’m relieved to see that in Australia, it wasn’t recieved light-heartedly, but with the gravity it deserves. Sure, we’re still a fucked-up country with problems of our own, but it makes me damned proud that when one of our reporters is treated so damned absymally, being dehumanised and belittled so horribly, that the Prime Minister takes time out of the very important affairs of running a country in the middle of an economic downturn to say to this buttwipe Ramsay, “STFU and STFD, jerkwad!”

It’s not much, but it’s something that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, it’s not a sea of misogyny and cruelty out there. There are some oases to crash at.

Crossposted at my LJ.

ETA: Special thanks to my mate greteldragon on LJ for this link! Julia Gillard, our "VP" for any American readers out there, told a silly man to get back into the kitchen! OH YEAH, BISH GOT SERVED, YO!

I miss my Mum, and that's okay.

Jump under the cut!

In the success-driven world of today, it’s seen as a very strange or embarrassing thing to live with your parents.

I’ve often felt bad about it.  I’m turning 30 this year, and I haven’t met someone to start my life with.  People often ask why I don’t have a place of my own?  Well, I just like living with my family.  They’re funny, they’re helpful to me and I can help them too (Mum has a sore back from arthritis and my Dad is getting older too).  My brother also lives here.  It’s just damned nice living with a family you love to bits.  Plus I hate being alone.

I’ve been told that I won’t grow as a person if I stay with my folks for too long.  I think that’s a load of hooey, really.  Sure, there are different things I’d be facing on my own, and I’m sure I’d develop a confidence from being self-reliant.  But there are things I benefit from by staying at home that my brothers and sisters miss out on because they live somewhere else.

For example, my relationship with my mother has had room to develop and grow.  You know Dorothy and Sophia on the Golden Girls?  Well, imagine that with a Scottish/Maltese woman reminiscent of Mrs. Doubtfire and armed with a wicked sense of humour.  We’re not quite as relentlessly antagonistic as Dorothy and Sophia, but we have our moments.  We’re close, though.  My big sister Helen remarks how funny our Mum and me are together, like we’re sisters rather than mother and daughter. 

We both share the challenges of chronic pain.  She’s got an arthritic back, and I’ve got endometriosis.  We’re both absolutely plum-crazy about my cat Rogue.  I send her LOLcats, and then if Rogue does something funny, Mum speaks in LOLcat.  Sometimes she gets the LOLcat speak wrong, but it’s no less cute.  It’s even more adorable. 

We talk about gluten free food alternatives together.  She’s helped me countless times through panic attacks, and when she’s faced the rigours of life - sick relatives, unfair crap in her political career, Dad being his usual cheery self – I give her hugs and talk to her. 

Right now she’s in Peterhead with my Dad.  They’re on a holiday in Europe, to see where they came from one last time.  It’s been a month and a half now, and I miss her like crazy.  I was horribly depressed for the first few weeks.  It’s hard because I depended on my Mum and Dad even more after my sexual assault.  I could be embarrassed or ashamed of that, but that would be foolish.  Why should I feel bad for needing the people that mean the most to me?  I don’t shun the outside world, I’m not insular.  I go out, I’ve got a large network of friends. 

I help out Mum and Dad, and they help me out in return. 

I was watching some Golden Girls episodes the other day, and I thought, “Wow.  Dorothy is in her fifties, and she lives with her Mum.  There is absolutely nothing embarrassing or undesirable about this situation for her.  She LIKES being with her mother, most unapologetically.”

So I’ll continue to relish being with my mother.  I’ve got a really, really good Mum, and good Mums deserve all the love and appreciation in the world!

Heartfelt letter from a Sexual Assault Survivor...

Jump under the cut!

Dear Linda Hirshman,

Please kindly go fuck yourself.

Little regard,

Napalm Nacey.

(The link goes to feministe, which goes into Linda Hirshman’s bullshit with far more eloquence than I can be bothered to manage so early in my day, plus I figure, why say the same thing twice?)